MaryBeth: Hello everyone, and welcome to another interview brought to you by ChristianErotic.com! We're once again sitting down with DeDe O'Connor, the Queen of Christian Erotica.

DeDe: Here we go again...

MaryBeth: I'm MaryBeth, the sitemaster for ChristianErotic.com, and this is my third interview with DeDe, this one about her new book The Marriage Bed 3: The Challenge.

DeDe: It's a pleasure to talk to you, as always. When we were setting up this video interview, I had to laugh - you and I have been having video chats for years, but it wasn't until the pandemic when it became commonplace for everyone else.

MaryBeth: It just took people a while to catch up with us, I guess.

DeDe: [laughs] Yeah, but what a way to have to do it. Before we get rolling, though, I want to take a moment and say a special thanks to you for all of the support that you've given me over the last few years. I sincerely appreciate it!

MaryBeth: Hey, I just do it to get advance copies of your books!

DeDe: Yeah, right - I know better. We all get caught up in our day-to-day lives and sometimes forget to say "thank you" - you've been a wonderful friend to me, and you've been there for me through ups and downs as time has gone by.

MaryBeth: Right back at'cha, DeDe. Now before we both start crying and hugging our computer monitors, let's dive right into the new book, which is why we're here today... and what you said is actually a great segue, because the heart of the novella is about people getting wrapped up in their everyday lives, right?

DeDe: Exactly - and to be honest, I have you to thank for the idea of the book.

MaryBeth: Me? Really? So shouldn't I be getting royalties or something? [laughs]

DeDe: [grinning] Hey, I gave you a free advance copy. What else could you possibly want?

MaryBeth: And I greatly enjoyed it, by the way. So I'm dying to hear how I inspired this book... or maybe I don't want you to share that with all the readers!

DeDe: Don't worry, it's all very innocent. I was going through your ChristianErotic.com website, and saw a link to a news story where a pastor challenged all the married couples in his church to have sex every night for a week.

MaryBeth: I remember that - it was a while back. As I recall, he got mixed reviews for it.

DeDe: True, but a number of other pastors did the same at their churches all around the country. It made a huge impression on me, though... I mean, how often does life get SO crazy that you look up and a few weeks, or even months, have gone by without any intimate contact with your spouse? It happens to all of us. Life just gets in the way. John Lennon once said, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." That's so true. We all get absorbed in our day in, day out routine and let time slip through our fingers. We'll keep telling ourselves, "One of these days I'm going to plan a romantic evening of lovemaking with my spouse," or "We're too busy now, but next year we're going to take a vacation," or any number of other things like that. Then we look around and time has simply flown by.

MaryBeth: [nodding] I'm as guilty of that as anyone.

DeDe: Don't feel bad - we all are to some degree. But that pastor's challenge made me think of actually committing to making love every day for a week... and the idea for this book was born.

MaryBeth: So this is a novella with seven love-making scenes?

DeDe: That's only if the couple in the book complete the challenge, and you'll have to read it to find out!

MaryBeth: [laughs] Okay, fair enough. One question, though - did you and your husband take the challenge as background for the book?

DeDe: I'm going to plead the fifth on that one, your honor.

MaryBeth: Ahhh... going to make us use our imaginations, huh?

DeDe: Well, it's not just about making love seven days in a row. It's more about making love seven days in a row when you're exhausted, angry because you got cut off in traffic, swamped by a late evening at work, frustrated because the dishwasher broke and you have to call a repairman, and all of the other curve balls that life throws us.

MaryBeth: [nodding] Amen, sister! It's amazing what can come up unexpectedly.

DeDe: Yep, or even expectedly. I have the same fears and worries as everyone else - paying the mortgage, will the car hold on for another year, why am I suddenly having headaches... you know, the kind of things that plague each and every one of us. Those get a foot-hold in our brains and can ruin an otherwise wonderful day.

MaryBeth: Yep, and as you said, time keeps ticking away.

DeDe: Faster and faster. Bruce Springsteen said something that I though was very profound about relationships, trust, and time. It was on his Springsteen on Broadway album.

MaryBeth: Gotta love the Boss.

DeDe: Got to! And that recording from his Broadway show is fantastic... I listen to it all the time. But at one point he observes, "Trust in a relationship is a fragile thing - it's always been a little complicated for me. Trust requires allowing others to see as much of our real selves as we have the courage to reveal. It means allowing others to see behind our many masks that we wear, overcoming that fear, or rather learning how to love and how to trust in spite of it. It takes a little courage and a very strong partner. Because in this life you make your choices and you take your stand, and you awaken from that youthful spell of immortality where it feels like the road is going to go on forever. And you walk along beside your chosen partner with the clock ticking. And you recognize that life is finite, that you've got just so much time, and so together you name the things that will give your life and that time its meaning, its purpose, its fullness, its very reality. This is what you build together. this is what your love consists of. this is your life, and these are things that you can hold onto as the storms come - as they will."

MaryBeth: Wow. I can see how that kind of applies to your new book.

DeDe: Yeah, I jotted the quote down before the interview because I think it describes relationships so well.

MaryBeth: Okay, switching gears, one of the things that I've noticed in your books is that you write about ordinary, married couples having fun and adventurous sex in all sorts of locations. In this book, the couple seem to be going through an ordinary week in their lives - not all over Vegas like in your second book, or some of the wonderful places in the first Marriage Bed book.

DeDe: Absolutely correct. Although I hope that the romance and lovemaking is titillating to my readers, this book explores the everyday relationship of a married couple.

MaryBeth: I could definitely relate to many things in it. Also, well, I have to say that it gave me a lot to think about in my own life. Is it bad to say that I found this book a little deeper than some of your other ones?

DeDe: [laughing] No, that's not bad at all! It's supposed to be like that - and I'm honored that it touched you like that.

MaryBeth: That... and the romantic parts were as hot as always. You got it, folks - the Queen of Christian Erotica has done it again. I really enjoyed this book, and I think that everyone else will as well.

DeDe: Thanks - I sincerely appreciate that.

MaryBeth: Before we go, a couple of the folks that help me out with the ChristianErotic.com website gave me some questions for you, and I promised that I'd ask them if we had time. Are you up for that?

DeDe: What, you mean just like a real interview?

MaryBeth: Exactly! Although my interviews with you usually sound a lot like our normal video chats. No one's ever going to accuse me of being a professional interviewer.

DeDe: I enjoy our visits - they're always a highlight of my week! So how did these questions come up?

MaryBeth: I was telling the gals that I was going to be interviewing you today, and that started a discussion of "Ooo - ask her this" and "ask her that." Nothing cosmic, just a handful of questions.

DeDe: Okay, let's do it! Go ahead - shoot.

MaryBeth: Here we go, first question. What does your husband think of your books?

DeDe: That's an easy one. He likes them, although it has been an evolution of sorts.

MaryBeth: Okay, you're going to have to explain that.

DeDe: Well, you know that I write in different genres using different names, right? When I first told him that I was going to write some Christian Erotica, I think that he was a little shocked, although there was a twinkle in his eye as we talked about it. We actually spent several evenings out on the patio just talking about it. After reading the first few stories, they actually excited him, which I took to be a great thing! As time went by, I had to persuade him to look beyond the sex, and critique me on the actual writing and the settings for the stories, which he now does quite well. I hope that they still give him a little twitch in his britches, though.

MaryBeth: Okay, okay, fair enough. Question two... do any of your stories come from your real life?

DeDe: [bursts out laughing] If we were texting now, this is where I'd type "LOL." Let me just say that while my stories aren't biographical, hubby and I do try to keep our relationship exciting. That's not always easy, and sometimes not even possible, but that's when we try even harder. I could tell you about one story, I guess...

MaryBeth: Oh, do tell!

DeDe: This isn't getting into things with my personal romantic life, 'cause you know how I protect that - this is all about me and a particular neurosis that I have. But it also explains one of the stories in the last book.

MaryBeth: I can hardly wait - spill.

DeDe: Okay, first you have to understand that I have vertigo like no one else in this world. If I'm standing on the sidewalk of a really tall building and I look up, I get dizzy. If I was to be on top of that building, I'd probably faint. My vertigo is unmanageable. The weird thing is that if I'm behind glass, everything is fine. Case in point - the Stratosphere Hotel & Casino in Vegas. They have the huge tower at the top of the strip. There's an observation deck that's glassed in, and I've been up there a number of times with no problem. If I go up a level where it's actually outside, though, my legs turn to jelly, my head swims, and I'm on the verge of passing out.

MaryBeth: Don't be too hard on yourself... I think that we're all like that to some degree.

DeDe: Maybe, but not like me. I freak out. Anyway, several years ago I worked in a tall office building, and at lunch several of us made our way up onto the roof. It was fifteen stories high, with no rails, and my vertigo attacked me like you wouldn't believe. My friends were all going over to the edges and looking over, while I was screaming for everyone to get back into the stairwell. My legs get tingly just thinking back to it.

MaryBeth: So far, you're making a lot of sense to me...

DeDe: Yeah, well, fast forward a few years and hubby and I went to Vegas one summer and stayed at the Monte Carlo Hotel & Casino. Very nice, very plush, and we loved the place. During our stay, my husband discovered that the windows opened just like back home - you could actually open the windows and slide it up, which he did. He was sitting on the window sill, looking down, and I completely lost my mind. I was screaming at him to get away from there and close the window, which after laughing at me, he finally did.

MaryBeth: Wow. I think that I would have freaked out, too.

DeDe: Not like I did. Anyway, a day later we went up to the top of the Stratosphere, and from that height you can see down the strip and look at all the tops of the hotels. I remember thinking, oh my God, what if I was on top of one of those! We returned safely to street level, of course, but when I was writing the Marriage Bed 2 book, which takes place at the fictional Pompeii Hotel in Vegas, that came rushing back to me. I wondered if I could bring myself to make love on the roof of a Vegas tower, and the story "A Bird's Eye View" was born. I hope that my readers enjoyed the story, but the entire time I was writing it my palms were sweating and my feet were tingling, so it probably affected me differently than anyone else.

MaryBeth: That's a definite behind-the-scene story - thanks for sharing. Okay, question three. Do you ever re-read your own books?

DeDe: That's an easy one! [laughs] No, I usually don't. The reason why is that when I have, I wanted to start editing myself. I'll think, "Oh, I should have said that differently," or "Why did I describe it like that?!?" No, instead I write things and put them out into the world to my wonderful readers, and so I don't think that I need to go back and second-guess any of my words.

MaryBeth: Fair enough; I get that. Okay, question four. Do you read your book reviews?

DeDe: No! No! A thousand times NO! [laughs] First of all, erotica doesn't get many reviews. Readers are usually hesitant to do so, and I get that. A lot of people are also embarrassed to admit that they read erotica - and over the years it's been demonized, as if sex between a husband and wife is somehow wrong. Also, there are many trolls out there. If I write about something that they don't approve of, or think that I'm doing the devil's work or something ridiculous like that, it's easy to hit me with a one-star review to "punish" me. So I don't really pay a lot of attention to reviews - I just write for my fans, and hope that I bring them a little happiness, and maybe a tiny bit of titillation.

MaryBeth: That you certainly do, my dear - I can personally attest to it. By the way, I looked up your reviews before the interview, and you average right about 4.5 out of 5 stars. Surprise! Really high marks, my dear.

DeDe: [big smile] My fans are so kind. I honestly appreciate everyone who reads my work.

MaryBeth: And it's well-deserved. Now for the final question: At the first interview that I did with you, you were very secretive about the subject for a story - you told me what it was, and it even shocked me, although you said that the story was still in your guidelines for writing Christian Erotica... have you written that story yet?

DeDe: [laughs] Okay, I should have known that one was coming. [shaking head from side to side] No, no, I haven't written it yet, and I still can't process whether it's something that I should write.

MaryBeth: Don't look at me! I can't advise you on this one. But let's let it fall by the wayside, and let me ask you a similar question - do you ever wish that you could take one of your stories back?

DeDe: Hmmm... well, not really, although I guess that there was one that was received a little differently than I'd hoped for. There's a story in the second Marriage Bed book, the one that takes place in Vegas, called "The Illusion of Love" about a magician who gives his wife a special treat one evening. I got some feedback that suggested that I strayed outside of my boundries for Christian Erotica, but to me that was never a question. Hubby and I love magic shows, but when we go to one I know that the assistant isn't really levitating in the air, and that the assistant in the glass box doesn't really turn into a white tiger. I know that it's all illusion, so I didn't have a problem with that story, but since a few folks did, I might have pulled that one back. I don't know, just a thought.

MaryBeth: We've talked about that before, so I understand what you're saying, but I really didn't see it as a problem. But meanwhile, you have the novella The Marriage Bed 3: The Challenge to entertain and excite your readers, so let's end on that.

DeDe: Perfect. I really love this book, and enjoyed getting to go a level deeper into the everyday life of married couples... and of course, the wonderfully sexual things that can happen between them. Meanwhile, I'm working on a fourth book that I hope will be out soon - it's kind of like the first Marriage Bed book, with ten different stories from couples in ten different situations, including one erotic story that's inspired by a book of the Bible!

MaryBeth: Now I'm intrigued! Let me know when I can get my advance copy of that... and maybe there's a way I could get a peek at that particular story? Just thinking out loud here. Thank you so much, DeDe O'Connor, the Queen of Christian Erotica, for giving my readers and I a few minutes of your time. I really appreciate it.

DeDe: And I appreciate you, my friend. Thanks so much for everything!

MaryBeth: You bet... and as my Daddy used to say, I'll see you down the road.

Click on the book cover to check out DeDe's book The Marriage Bed 3: The Challenge!

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